What You Want
by ASingleMind
Summary: Its been months since their near romantic encounter on a doomed iceberg, but their relationship has only found itself in moot points and unsuccessful flirtations. Now, after the break-up of Kharzem and destruction of his most prized distraction, Mahad is reconsidering whether either of them really wanted anything more.


**A/n: Well, here goes nothing. My contribution to the MaD shipping tag.**

Mahad had forgotten what living under their mother's credence was like in the nearly a year she had been gone.

When they had first rescued her, his and him had been given leave from any duties they may have had at the time. And they had cherished the time they were given to reunite with Mila. The weeks since her return had been filled with stories, baking and the video diaries he had made with his sister. A familiar warmth had returned to their home and theirs lives. Their family was finally together again, at least as far as they had ever known. The whereabouts of their father still remained a mystery, but it was one enveloped in a certain unhappiness that had no place in happier moments. While hope remained for him, it was an endeavor that could wait.

But Mila's motherly tendencies would not. Her time in Kharzem hadn't admonished her protectiveness in the slightest. Rather, it had served to only bolster it. The fact that they were not only active fighters for the pirates but members of the primary crew had not helped. Yet, she had been the one to send them to the rebels in the first place. To Mahad, it seemed that she was having trouble everything she had built up for their secrecy in the heart of Sphere territory. In recent days it had become grating.

He understood that their separation had been hardship enough for her, and that she couldn't bear anything more permanent. He could understand that after years of hard labor and handing over water to an organization she had fought against she might feel entitled to their well-being. The idea that he give up his position in favour of something safer (and less exciting) was too much. The loss of the Hyperion had already left him feeling impotent—that he give up what independence he had left to appease her both at home and on the forefront of the the growing resistance pushed too far. By tradition, he was an adult now.

And that was what he had told her when he left the house a few hours after dinner. That must have been at least half and hour ago, now that he thought about it.

The sleepy little town on Puerto Angel was well behind him as walked in to the grassy hills it backed onto. Ever since Mila's rescue though, the idyllic village had awoken itself from its dull routine. Puerto Angel had become what New York had been; a central bastion for the resistance. It bustled with news and an energy Mahad had thought the pirates had forgotten. He imagined that this was what the rebellion had been like when his father lead it. A symbol of independence that Sphere controlled blocks could only dream of. Pride welled in everyone's hearts, his own included. Did his mother not realize how much he craved to be a part of it?

In a way he already was, he knew. The Farrels had been the talk of the town, even more so than when he had arrived with his sister. They had sparked curiosity while Mila spurred the flames that had long died out. Allied blocks everywhere sought to join them. But for once being the centre of attention wasn't feeding his ego. It was actually almost suffocating him...which brought him out here instead of the tavern.

The moon was above the horizon now. It casted a soft glow that turned the landscape to shades of black and deep purple. The dirt path he walked was well-worn and padded. There was hardly a crackle as he moved. The air was warm, but not humid like he had expected. The rain from earlier had left it tasteless and unfeeling.

It made him think of sunny days and gentle breezes, and—

_Babylonia._

And races, rily antics and warm skin and ginger hair and pigtails—

_Hanako._

He smiled at the softly memory. That sounded about right. The night air reminded him of Babylonia's nights, especially up the hill under the tree fitted with pale light skittering across them through branches and leaves that hid them from prying eyes...

Hanako had been nice. Her kiss on their trip back had reminded him of that. She was stronger than her small frame suggested. Farm work made muscles that rippled under a thin soft sheet of flesh that shivered. And he had never gotten to know it, really, he thought regretfully. Her lips were sweet though...he pushed aside the growing tension.

He couldn't visit her even if he wanted to to. And he did, if only to see if she still liked him that way. She had been excited when he regaled her with his adventures. Maybe she thought it was hot? The danger certainly had an appeal... grunted. She might have but it didn't matter. They had made it clear that their lives were now on widely different paths. If she left Babylonia though...

No. He almost chuckled. It looked like Shoomday finally win at something against him. Hanako would have to wait until Babylonia was liberated.

There was always Astrid with her smooth short hair that almost shimmered. He never did find out what she used for it. If he could use the same thing he might be able to impress—

He quickly wondered about how Astrid was doing. His tour of Puerto Angel had gone over well with her. It smoothed out most the bumps they had found, namely the ones created by her father Max. He had convinced her to settle down, he thought. She was a gentle girl. A little more so that what he was used to, but welcome none the less. He hadn't seen her since though. It was almost as if she had faded back into the crowd. But he could find her. He might see her in the tavern—

He sighed. And he had come to the other reason he was avoiding town. Dahlia.

He wasn't sure what to think anymore (and he had a lot of time now). On the iceberg it had seemed like all his flirting hadn't been for nothing after all. That he might have caught _her _interest. Someone who had been hardened by years with the resistance the same girl who had repeatedly rejected him for his childishness. Despite himself, he had felt a little self-conscious. The words tumbled out of his mouth. But nothing had come of it since then. Should he have let her catch him after the storm? Probably.

She hadn't much to say when moved onto other pursuits, namely Astrid and a few other girls around Puerto Angel. At least, nothing in direct opposition. Nothing at all when Hanako had given him a quick peck goodbye (then again they _had _been in a hurry). Had she even noticed? She had certainly been annoyed when he was rambling about Astrid—but that was because Dahlia had been suspicious of Astrid and her father...and he was just being his usual casual (and cool) self. And he had been right...mostly. Who could blame him? Astrid had been so nervous about...well, _everything. _And who better than he to be there for her? He smiled to himself and then frowned a little.

Dahlia would never need him like that. She was stronger, more self-assured despite being the youngest adult of the St. Nazaire's crew (or was it because of that?). It intimidated him more than he would ever admit...but he already had. To _her. Gods he had been an an idiot. _Was it only dire peril that made her even consider him?

"Hey there." He hadn't even noticed the footsteps trailing up to hi.

"I, uh, _hi._" he fumbled for a confident reply. Her expression made no note of his stumbling.

"What? No wisecracks?" She had caught him in something he normally didn't do a lot of. "Nothing? Two people out alone at night and..." She could see his usual cocky smile forming.

"Well, now that you put it that way this _does _seem a bit romantic..."

"Ugh, nevermind." she muttered, more to chide herself than reprimand. "I see you're just fine out here. Now if you don't mind..." she finished as she moved to continue down the path ahead of him. Which direction had she coe fro anyway? She was heading toward the lighthouse now. She must have come from town, but why? Dahlia enjoyed a crowd almost as much as he did (although a bit more quietly) and the village was certainly bustling despite the hour.

"Dahlia?" he called after her. His voice was crisp and surprisingly sincere against the silence. "Where are you going?" She didn't respond. Had she heard him, or was she ignoring him? "Dahlia!" This time she turned around.

"What?" she finally replied, visibly annoyed.

"I asked you where you going! Something wrong?" her mouth formed a neutral line.

"It was too crowded in the Tavern. I came out to get some fresh air and some space." she said flatly. "Don't get any smart ideas." Good thing this wasn't one. He walked right up to her. Her mouth remained flat, but her eyes were creased. "Didn't you hear me?"

"I did. Why aren't you down at the Tavern with the rest of the area?"

"Why aren't you?" That was an answer, even he knew that.

"Maybe I was tired of being peppered with questions about my mom." He replied, mimicking her tone. He swore Dahlia almost bit her lip. "How about you?"

"I wanted some space to think."

"About what?" He brought up a half smile. "Me perhaps?"

"Dream on." that didn't have quite the punch he expected. Where was the indignation? He didn't say anything after that. He expected her to to give him a piece of her mind. The anger never came.

"You're not going to drop this, are you?" she relented.

"Nope." he said. There was another passing moment. Dahlia looked around at the grasslands on either side of them. They had reached the crux in the path that was near Puerto Angel's first peak.

"I guess this is a good a place as any..." she motion toward the corner of the block and started to make her way through the grass. That was easier than he expected. He followed her movements. Sitting down beside her he followed her gaze out across the skyline. Clouds brushed along the block. It was often like this after a storm.

"So...what's up?" he said calmly. How was he to broach the unknown? Dahlia just sighed, nodding her head down.

"I can't believe I'm doing this..." she muttered. She brought her head up again. "I told you I came up here to be alone? That wasn't entirely true. I _did _want some space...but I was mulling over the idea of going to talk to the Vector."

"The Vector? I didn't realize you guys were close..."

"We're not." she replied firmly. "But I wanted a perspective I wasn't already expecting." _On what?_ Everything was good now. Great, even. The resistance was actually beginning to flourish. Mahad didn't say anything for a few moments.

"You know, this _was _a dumb idea." Dahlia said curtly. She immediately stood up and moved to leave, but not before he grabbed her arm.

"Dahlia, wait..." Things _were _better now. And (as far as he could tell) she had been ifne before. Which meant there was only one thing it could have been. "This is about the Kharzem mission isn't it?" she didn't look at him right away. The idea that he may have upset her briefly crossed his mind. Dahlia wasn't as...sensitive as the girl's he'd dated but he knew better than anybody that everyone had a limit. If Dahlia was avoiding her friends...

"Yes, yes it is." He nodded. He had been debriefed on the mission...so what wasn't he connecting? Dammit. "Our side of the mission was explained to you, right?"

"Yeah."

"So you know that I was left in charge of our captive?"

"You guys ran into Diwan searching for us."

"And thanks to Jonah's tech we were able to capture." said Dahlia. "Looking back on it I think we should have kept her under the excellarium." she continued. There was a growing bitterness in her voice.

"She broke out, right?" Mahad finished the thought.

"Yes, and while I was trying to subdue her one of the hatches opened. I think one of us must have bumped into the control panel on the inside of the hull." Mahad nodded. He hadn't been told these details. The version he was given told him that she had been forced overboard.

"It shocked both of us when explosion rocked the and she fell out." The bitterness had to a soft solemnity. It reminded Mahad of when she had suggested destroying the iceberg they had been stranded on to save Puerto Angel. "We were also both surprised when I reached out to save her."

"_What?_" Mahad replied, startled. His widened eyes quickly narrowed. "Why?"

"It's difficult to explain..."

"Difficult? The woman who chased us all across Skyland to capture my sister for the creep..."

"Mahad."

"...the same one who we struggled against every time...who tried to kill—"

"Mahad, _I know._" Dahlia interrupted. "I know very well who, what she was. When I caught her arm, I wondered what I was doing, and then I remembered, but I still I thought I should have let her fall...but she was more use to us alive than dead, however dangerous she may have been."

"Right."

"I...in her final moments she looked scared."

"Serves her..." Mahad restrained the anger in his voice.

"Scared like I was. I told her to grab my hand but..." she continued to stare out across the sky that surrounded them. Mahad realized that she might be looking at the same scene he was. "Well...she slipped. And screamed the whole way down." Even Mahad inwardly flinched at that. He bit down on his anger for just a moment. Should he reach out to her? Did she want someone to pull her back out of her memories? "I laid there for a while hanging over the edge, even after the yelling faded." It was time now. Hesitantly, he gently brushed her arm. She didn't meet his hand, but turned her head down.

"Don't you...all the time." the words came out without him wanting them to.

"Its not the same from the helm of the St. Nazaire. And most patrollers are manned by brigs, not Guardians." Now he hung his head as well. He rarely considered the identity of the pilots of the patrollers he shot down. The idea settling in the pit of his stomach as a cold lump. His anger had subsided in favor of a sudden colder reality.

"I suppose you're right." he managed. Dahlia sighed.

"I just can't get it out of my head." she was frustrated now. "It shouldn't be like this, I know. Wayan and Cortes have seen worse."

"But you didn't kill her Dahlia. It was an accident."

"It doesn't feel that way."

"I...I know." He didn't, not really. But he thought about the rest of the crew. "Maybe you don't." Dahlia finally turned to look at him with the smallest fraction of a degree. "Forget it, I mean. I don't think Cortes has. Wayan...I don't know. But he didn't get to be Cortes' right hand without at least a few fights." Dahlia just nodded. For a while, neither of them said anything. A breeze had picked up, gently tugging at their hair I wisps. The feeling that had overcome him was in abeyance now. He was trying to come up with something to say to her, anything to break the silence. Dahlia spoke first.

"You're right." She said softly. Her arms had been crossed over each other as she gripped her elbows. Now, she leaned back on outstretched arms. The tension was beginning to recede. "I've been thinking that there was something wrong. That I needed to be tougher, that maybe that, if I had to see it again...that I might not be cut out for the crew." Mahad cocked his head. "and that's not entirely wrong. But I think I needed that." She didn't look at him. Her eyes were open, fully, almost glistening in the dim light. "Because now I'm seeing this whole thing differently." It seemed a bit stilted in some way to Mahad, but he let it go. "It's actually refreshing."

"I, yeah." The cessation of the sick feeling seemed to grow. Seeing her relieved made him smile a little. He leaned back as well. The night seemed colder now, but that didn't bother them. Stars were beginning to peak out from beneath the darkness. They contrasted with the darkly hued, drifting clouds.

"So about what you were saying earlier."

"Hm?"

"About two people alone at night, out in an open field under the moonlight..."

"Mahad!"

"What, you were the one who said it."

"And here I was thinking that you might be able to hold a deep conversation for more than five minutes.'

"I did, sort of."

"Man..." she said shaking her head. "I thought maybe you'd actually matured a bit."

"Since when?"

"Since...last time I guess." Dahlia said nervously.

"Last time? You mean the iceberg." Dahlia nodded.

"It was the last close conversation we had. Its been, what..."

"Like seven months." Mahad finished.

"I hadn't realized."

"Neither had I." It was obvious that wasn't the case, but he didn't want to admit how much he'd been thinking about it. "We never did finish it, did we?" he added with a coy smile.

"Need I remind you that you were the one who turned away?"

"Well, it _was _very bright."

"It was. You might even say it was shiny. Very distracting." she teased.

"It _was!_" he insisted. She was laughing now. It stopped suddenly when he leaned a little closer. "We could finish it now, if you wanted."

"I...not tonight." she said demurely. He acted hurt.

"But why not?"

"I'm feeling a bit better, thanks to you."

"So...?"

"I appreciate it, but I'm not quite ready to, this time around."

"Oh."

"But I could go for a hug." she was smiling again.

"Alright." he said with a tone matching his smile. Slowly they embraced. Mahad tucked his arms hers as they closed the gap. He felt her breasts pressed against his chest, the softness spreading across him. Then she unexpectedly pulled him forward, firmly, and their centres touched. Her grip tightened, startling him. She released it was suddenly as she had started it.

"Dahlia..."

"I'm alright." she said smiling broadly. "Thanks for the hug." with that, she stood up again, more slowly this time. She gave him a moments glance and began walking through the grass back to the dirt path. He watched her feeling a little dumbfounded. That had felt more...intimate than he expected.

"Are you sure that's all you want?" he called after her.

"Maybe." she said still smiling.

**A/N: Looks like I may have replaced Mahad with a more mature, reflective one. And you'll ever find the original! Mwahahaha. **

**I'd be lying if I said that the song under the same name had nothing to do with the inspiration for this (although the tones are quite different). Let me know what you think. ; ) **


End file.
